I have found myself for the second time in my life at the point of burnout. The interesting part is that I vowed to never to return to this place the first time I woke up and found myself in a bundled mess. Yet, alas, here I am again. To my credit, I have pulled myself up short and well before the outcome of my last event many, many years ago. What amazes me is how I am the only one who drives myself to this destination but I carry on as if I am on a mystery tour. Sure, there are work pressures, life keeps tugging on your apron and Bill keeps knocking at the bank door. I am the master of my own life, right? Aren’t we all. What is the imaginary figure that keeps us tapping along, having the life being sucked out of us with no results or very little fruits of success? For me, it is me but the classically and operant conditioned version of myself, the one that society built me up to be and where the ‘must keep doing better’ carrot keeps dangling and I keep chasing.
What stopped me this time round though was when I woke up one morning, exhausted from the month before and every cell in my body declared: “I am done.” I am not a quitter; I have never not finished a race and have a tendency to demand more before I say rest. It is because over the years, I have developed a wisdom and value of listening to myself, my higherself, and that was who was making this declaration this morning. I took time to drop out of my mental space with meditation and began to let my heart speak. I sat with myself and examined my situation. What was I really cultivating? I realised I was losing myself to a life that was not truly aligned with my purpose and plan. I had been putting all of my energy into areas, valid and seemingly where my strengths lay, that were not in the flow of my life plan. How did I know this was the case? I know because I was unhappy, burned out and the take was well above the give, in shore I was miserable.
When we are in our flow, when we are truly living the life we are destined to live we have a source of energy and passion that keeps us getting up and moving forward. Sure, there will be times when we get tired and need to rest and in my opinion that is very necessary because we are cyclical in nature and balance should be attained. The real insight to our position in life is what we are cultivating and what we yield from our efforts. The fruits will not be material, though that is always a great side effect, they should be emotional. What I mean by this is that if you could describe your place and position as peaceful, balanced, joyful, happiness and other similar emotional states then you are on a winner. You can be tired and happy at the same time and I think that could be the best type of tired.
What am I going to do? Well I kept observing this situation, and then I took off for a day away to clear my head and to return to what was truly aligned and important to me. I let my higherself take over and allowed myself to be intuitively led. I found myself having a reading and to my surprise, which afterwards was not a complete surprise, I was told the same fundamental pieces of information I have received over the years from four other non-connected readers. My poor Spirit Guides, they were patiently stating ‘When will you listen?’ Well, I am listening now and I have discovered a new level of self-love and self-worth. I have re-examined my life-situation and rearranged it to align with passion and purpose. I am now fully committed to myself.
What are you cultivating?
Namaste Beautiful Souls.
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